Here’s what I’m learning this week: I don’t need to be perfect. Much of my life I made myself miserable through trying to be perfect. The perfect daughter. The perfect sister. The perfect friend. The perfect employee. I became an expert in people pleasing! You won’t be surprised to hear that I also failed miserably in my endeavours…… It resulted in me falling into a dark pit every so often where I would criticise myself harshly and felt awful. What was the point of it all?
Inspite of all that self inflicted suffering, at times some part of me felt there must be more to life than living like this.
Of course there was! At the time I didn’t know that my behaviour and emotions were being driven by my unconscious beliefs. These beliefs had formed when I was very young. I believed I was not worthy and not good enough. And of course - the belief that if I was perfect, that would solve all my problems. Does that sound crazy?
It was when these beliefs came to light and I faced them that I stopped falling into the dark pit and stopped the self criticism.
Eventually the realisation dawned that being perfect is an illusion! Ridiculous even. Bit by bit, life started to open up. Joy and inner peace stared to make a more regular appearance on the stage of my life until they took up permanent residence.
So today I am celebrating that…. I’m imperfect! And that’s perfectly ok. I love that about me!
What is your relationship to being perfect or imperfect?
